It’s not like me!

I’M CROSS, it’s not you, or it could be, but this time I’m cross about this insignificant virus.  I need to personalise it so for the sake of this blog we’ll call it Wally. When Wally reared his ugly head way back at the beginning of the New Year, I was a little fearful of him. People, as in media, governments and ‘experts’ all said that I should be scared. Look out, he’s getting bigger, he’s started taking lives and our NHS was overwhelmed by Wally. I must admit that I became nervous of his power over me. Wally stopped me being me. Going out became inconceivable, shops were dangerous places and panic buying was one of Wally’s great weapons. Close relatives were convinced of my imminent death and warned me to be afraid. I found that I became worried to venture into my garden because Wally’s microscopic particles could be lurking. I haven’t seen Mum & Dad, I’ve missed their birthdays, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I’ve seen them once, safe distancing of course, in Arundel and no hugs or kisses because any of us might find we’ve been attacked by Wally. I’ve missed my grandchildren and my daughters give the best hugs ever, but because of Wally I’m missing out. It was Sunday, Father’s Day when I told myself that I wasn’t giving in anymore to Wally’s antics. I’d had the best day the day before. I saw Finn and Lexi with their Mum & Dad and we’d had a wonderful walk in the sun. It was almost as if Wally had retreated. Apart from one thing, the hugs I got were through back-to-front hoodies. It seems to me I might be acquiescing and handing Wally the power. He’s just a silly little virus, I’m not trivialising this at all but there comes a time when I have to say STOP. I don’t want to go to restaurants, I’m not going to risk my health or anyone else’s but I have to be able to take calculated risks in this battle.

I saw Henry and Meadow on Sunday and I had the best hugs from them. They are back at school and are mixing, in their ‘Bubble’ with other children. I know there’s a greater chance that Wally might return, so Henry and Meadow and I all agreed that this would be the last cuddle for a while, maybe 6 weeks. I can’t tell you how good I felt after I’d seen them. My emotional wellbeing was boosted, lifting my immune system.

When I was diagnosed with MS, 40 years ago, I told myself that I would never give in and I would continue to fight until I popped my clogs. Every new symptom that I have been attacked by has been rallied back, dealt with and lived with. As an MS Warrior if I can take on a huge condition I can certainly cope with Wally.

About I'M Still me.....

I'm an MS warrior and writer who enjoys Prosecco, chocolate, looking glamorous and who will NEVER go grey!
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