Can we ever trust again?

If lockdown is lifted towards the end of May and is, as Boris says, a phased affair, who of us are going to feel happy to return to a normal life?

I am quite nervous about resuming certain things in my life once again. I used to love going out for meals whether it was with Husband in a hurry or with girlfriends. It used to be an exciting time, where to eat, what to choose from the menu and what to wear. However, now I’m not sure about my confidence out and about. Mixing with other people, being in a crowd, will I always be watching for others who might have symptoms? I love going to concerts and I have a couple which have been rearranged for later in the year or next year, but I’m not sure whether I want to go. My trust in others to do the right thing is at rock bottom, believe me I don’t like being this. I’m spending far too much time in my kitchen because I won’t order take-out. I never thought twice about ordering a pizza but now I wonder who coughed over the preparation of it.
Now MacDonald’s want to reopen some of their food outlets. There was a time when I loved eating a MacFlurry on Eastbourne seafront, my favourite was caramel, oh for those days. Will I ever do that again, I hope so.

I’m not frightened of going out, I enjoy fresh air and feeling the sun warm on my face. It is especially good at this time because there is little traffic and more flora and fauna to see. It worries me to be with people again, I trust my family because I know where they’ve been. I could see Mum & Dad and I would happily look forward to seeing my grandchildren. I’ve missed them dreadfully, their hugs and their enthusiasm. My fear is the unknown of others who may have travelled on buses, trains or in taxis after another may have been infecting the door handles and supports. The government’s idea of a ‘Track and Trace’ app might be somewhat reassuring, however it’s not without it’s risks and a part of me does wonder if this is a little too late.

Testing frightens me. I’m not sure who is being tested anymore, I’m told that a candidate doesn’t have to be symptomatic in order to participate. If that’s the case how does it work? If you haven’t got symptoms how do you know? Tell me Mr Hancock, is this just a ploy to get to 100,000 tests per day. Call me cynical but I’m confused.

A vaccine, I don’t even have a ‘flu jab because I’m frightened of catching it. So tell me why I would have something that might make me more sick. I already have a weakened immune system, apparently, and as I understand it a vaccine goes into you and it’s got a little bit of the virus in it which encourages your T-Cells to fight it. The last time I had a ‘flu vaccine was the only time I caught ‘flu so I rest my case. I’m not sure I want this vaccine.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life worried about having a life. I want to go and see bands, I want to go to my favourite restaurant and I desperately need to get my hair done. Let’s hope I can soon.

About I'M Still me.....

I'm an MS warrior and writer who enjoys Prosecco, chocolate, looking glamorous and who will NEVER go grey!
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