How did you fare with Storm Ciara? I coped quite well, but then I wasn’t the one who was coping with the wreckage, which She caused.

If you have ever had building work which has required the crew to have their own on-site facilities, you may have experienced something like the fun and games we had at the weekend. The said crew were asked to secure any loose planks, rubble and offcuts, which were dumped, placed in the skip. However, in general tradesmen are not accustomed to due care and attention when it comes to ensuring skip ‘housekeeping’. So, on Sunday when Ciara was at her angriest in the South of England, detritus went flying, all over the garden, into the road and spilling on to the pavement. It was thus that Husband in a hurry had to fasten all of the debris with an old groundsheet weighed down with some bags of fertiliser. That was an onerous task but it had to be done. Now the Portaloo is another challenge. The TARDIS itself had taken to traversing around the front lawn. It has always been placed in a convenient position for builders to use with discretion, however, it took on a mind of it’s own during the storm. It waltzed with Ciara until she, being fickle, moved on to her next victim, leaving Portaloo supine across the pavement. It’s contents swimming in blue disenfectant. Husband in a hurry was alerted to the positioning of the stricken lavatory by a neighbour who was walking her dog and had to manoeuvre around it. You have to remember here that the storm isn’t going to let up any time soon; wind howling, rain lashing and general maelstrom and the toilet needs rescuing. It is too heavy for one person to move and if there was a handy tow-bar I could have been attached to it and pulled said Portapotty into an erect position. Luckily there wasn’t and I was saved, safe and dry whilst Husband in a hurry battled the elements. He telephoned around, hoping to get assistance from a well placed son-in-law to no avail. However, within 15 minutes son-in-law was located and phoning me to offer any aid, but Husband in a hurry had by then left the scene in search of snack comforts. Sean, my son-in-law, said he would come to ground zero and right the Portaloo with the help of Husband in a hurry. It takes two people to move this cumbersome edifice and reposition it out of Storm Ciara’s path. The two of them managed without getting too blown away and on Monday morning, in the calm, the builders re-placed their Portaloo to its previous home.

There is forecast for a new storm to be hitting at the weekend. Fortunately, Husband in a hurry hopes to be off the premises and away from any carnage because he’s going to a football match. The threat is that Premier League matches are being cancelled as we speak and he may have to be in the firing line again.

Being that Storm Dennis is of the male persuasion, I am hoping He will not engage my poor Portaloo in any dance routines, but you never know…