I don’t want to be libelled so let’s take this a bit ‘tongue in cheek’ even though I think this is very serious.
At the age of 14 I have to admit I had a bit of a crush on the Duke of York, but that’s not who he was then. He was just Prince Andrew always rumoured to be the favourite and why that was I don’t know but he was the one who was the best looking. We’re about the same age and I always thought that if Prince Andrew met me he would instantly fall in love with me and we would be happy forever, remember, I was 14 and quite impressionable. I got over it and David Cassidy took over.
I watched his interview with Emily Maitlis at the weekend, there are one or two questions I have to ask about it and that’s being polite, first: shall we start with the question of what my interpretation of ‘no recollection of’ could mean. In my world of TV police procedural dramas the alleged perpetrators always seem to be advised by their slicked back legal counsel to reply ‘no comment’ to every question, implying that they are guilty as hell. ‘I have no recollection of’ seems to be much along those lines, who knows I might be wrong? But Advisors might have been sensible to suggest somewhat more genuine replies, such as ‘I may have met said person, but I really cannot remember that far back’. Second point: Can a person halt his excessive sweating by being in a particularly stressful situation, like being shot at? This has been discussed in newspaper columns over the last few days and Jeremy Vine has enjoyed considerable mileage from the question this week. I haven’t found any answers on NHS Choices, but as they say in all the best courtroom dramas: ‘The point can’t be disproved’ I wonder if the FBI will be able to subpoena the Duke of York’s medical records should they need to?
On a third point and this I feel is quite telling. When our Duke found out about his supposed friend, but not that good a friend; the ‘Plus One’ was embroiled and had been charged with such heinous crimes, why Andrew, did you not finish it by email, text, my people talking to your people, or even just the cold shoulder. No, you flew to New York City in order to break up the bromance because it was apparently, the honourable thing to do. However, whilst you were there you stayed in your friend’s apartment in order to ‘network’ what were you thinking? If years ago I had been breaking up with my Andy, I certainly wouldn’t have been staying with him for four days because I wanted to meet his work connections.
Now it’s difficult to believe that you can recall back in March, 2001 that you were at a pizza restaurant. I imagine that you probably send out for yours, but if you do go to a pizza restaurant, I’m guessing it’s conveniently placed next door to Tramp, however, we’re talking 18 years ago and I can’t remember where I ate last Friday!
My excuse is MS Brain and as a prince I’m sure you have prodigious powers of recall.
Andrew, sorry goes a long way.