I’ve always loved shopping, I had my first weekend job when I was 14 and the thrill of having money to spend has been with me ever since. I’m very eclectic in what I buy, it’s not always clothes or shoes or handbags. I can get just as much pleasure from buying groceries. Strange, or peculiar to think that I can get just as much enjoyment from a bag of pasta than I can from a new charm for my Pandora bracelet.

Is this an MS thing, my obsession, or is it deeper?

I had my hair cut and coloured yesterday. It wasn’t cheap, but when I came out of the salon I thought it was money well spent. I came home and I should have been quite happy to watch some cricket on TV. For some reason, known only to me, I turned on my computer, I clicked on Waitrose Groceries and spent £60, minimum order, on food that I did not need. When it arrived this morning, my PA was instructed to find more room in my already bursting cupboards. If I had saved that £60 I would have more to put towards the next haircut or a new handbag.

I need someone to stop me from spending money. They have tried. My youngest daughter has offered to help me once a week in order to decrease my extravagance, my PA’s have come up with ingenious ways to help, such as; sitting with me or looking around the kitchen and utility to let me know what we’re running short of. One of them has suggested meal planning for a whole week and another has given me a magnetic shopping list pad, which is attached to the front of my fridge. All of these are incredibly helpful and should curtail my profligacy, however, I rebel as I feel I’m losing more of my independence if I stick to their plan, well intentioned as it is and I end up ordering more. When the delivery comes and they put it away they always want to know why there is more chocolate again. Cadbury’s are making a ridiculous amount of money out of me!

I need to ask myself, or a therapist why I feel compelled to shop. Do I feel that my autonomy is compromised? How far back does this date, my need for a thrill? This is a compulsion or even an addiction, but I’m not sure where the answer lies. I could spend more money examining what issues might be hidden under the surface of my life, but I can think of better things to do with it!

I understand that there is a website called ‘Go Fund Me’ which might help me to finance my dependency but I feel that might be taking things just a bit too far. Instead, I will be linking my blog to Amazon, which might make the odd recommendation to which you might click on or even purchase and generate a little revenue for me. If anyone wants to understand some of my habit a good link is ‘The Secret Dream world of a shopaholic’ by Sophie Kinsella.