I went to Basingstoke on Sunday for my eldest grandson, Finn’s, birthday. I love all my grandchildren to bits and its when I see them that I become more aware of my own inadequacies due to MS. This was a family party including two sets of grandparents and an uncle. Finn is nine and he received a new cricket bat from his parents. He was eager to try it out and it was assumed that I couldn’t contribute to a cricket match and would ‘stay at home’. This happens to me a lot: “We can’t take a wheelchair over to the field”, or “Will you be alright here?” I stayed and my daughter, Nicki, cleared the remnants of our meal away. My granddaughter, Lexi, was keen to create a castle from an old box she had. She wanted to get on with it, but unfortunately I couldn’t get down on the floor to help her. I used the little initiative I had and distracted her for a while by asking her to design a plan on a piece of paper. I suppose this occupied her for a while and then her other grandma returned after a rousing cricket match and took over. She knew where to find the ‘making and doing’ bag and the castle started to take shape. Empty plastic bottles became turrets and Amazon packaging created rooms within the castle ‘box’.
I didn’t want to feel jealous but I admit I did.
There aren’t many times that I wish I was able-bodied, I accept MS with resilience and everyone around me knows me the way I am. I try the very best I can not to feel sorry for myself but it is when I can’t be a ‘proper’ Nonna to my grandchildren that I realise my restrictions.
Luckily, all of the grandchildren seem to love me the way I am.