We need to bottle this up, just the blue sky, the green trees, the roses, all of this because when it’s a grey dreary day I’m cold and depressed, I am a miserable wretch of a woman and I need to open one of those bottles. Vitamin D is all very well, but it doesn’t work the same way as a sunny day. Researchers say they have shown that MS Warriors might benefit from the vitamin but there’s nothing like the sun. As a wheelchair user I appreciate the small things in life, the sound of my wood chimes; the breeze in the trees; the scent of the roses as I pass under the pergola, these enrich my soul.
Now that I have my new chair, it is changing my life. I would never have thought that something could make so much of a difference, giving me the independence to take myself outside and breathe fresh air and, even go shopping on my own! My senior daughter said as much when she saw me in my new chair for the first time: “How lovely it is to see you out of the kitchen!” Sitting up straight again is making me more assertive. I am taking steps to move forward and not stay in my submissive ‘disabled’ role. I have to tell you, Reader, I never used to be like this. MS has made me reliant and I allowed this to happen. My independence dwindled away because I accepted that this was the way it should be, I didn’t get a job because I’d been told: “You can’t do that, you won’t be able to cope” but I wouldn’t have known that unless I tried and I wasn’t allowed to try. I have been told that I cannot drive anymore because ‘I am not safe’, but I haven’t had an accident in my life. I haven’t pushed probably because I’m a Libran; a people pleaser and I accepted and didn’t challenge those boundaries
I think we have to feel that we have a role in life. We need to feel our existence is justified, we cannot just sit (in our wheelchairs) and acquiesce. I’m trying to find my role, it might be writing, I hope it is, but I need to be encouraged in my search not to be told ‘You can’t do that’. I need to be valued in spite of MS, don’t write me off just yet!