Do you know how much I hate that? Am I the only one? It pees me off hugely when you call me brave, I’m not brave, I’m a putter-upper so I need to rant. What’s brave about not being able to get myself out of bed? I don’t want to be showered by somebody else! There’s no bravery in not being able to take myself to the toilet, or clean myself. Somebody has to do that for me, I hate it, it’s not brave; there’s nothing brave about it. I can’t do it for myself and I didn’t volunteer for this. If I had said “Okay, you can give me MS, I’ll cope with it; I’m brave enough to take it” then you could label me as brave. As an MS warrior I’ve brought up two daughters, I look after four adorable grandchildren but it hasn’t taken away my anger; my fury at having this shitty disease. I’m lucky, I’ve got great carers and I know life could be worse, but I hate the fact that I have to have carers. When I was seventeen years old I could never have imagined that my life would plan out like this. I’ve got a great husband, but he didn’t sign up for this either.
I am still a woman who cares about her appearance, I want to go to a hair salon and I want to wear nice clothes. I have good skin and I do not look the age I am. I love cruising to warm places, I’m dying to visit Nashville; I’m a huge Country music fan and this trip is on my bucket list. I like most American things to be honest. This proves that even though I’m a wheelchair user and MS warrior, I still want to do all the things that you do (assuming you are able bodied). This doesn’t make me brave, please don’t call me that.
Maybe brave isn’t the word, but you are something. Better written than that Susan from the sounds of it, albeit less exciting. I’ve had a long term illness myself, not yours (though my dear Aunt does). Taking on each day while letting others do those things for you while still being Mum, Wife, Nanna, Aunty, Warrior, is something akin to bravery. Do you know the story of Sisyphus? He wasn’t brave, he just endured. In my illness I barely made it through 18 months of not wanting to accept the reality of my situation knowing that there was an almost certain chance of a positive prognosis. Your positivity is inspiring. xxx
Hi Jen, thank you for taking time to read my blog. I don’t know Sisyphus, but I am going to Google him NOW. i take a positive outlook on life and it sounds as if you do too. How many grandkids do you have? I’ve got 4, two of each, their great. Keep an eye on the blog for news of their antics. Big love to youx and your Aunt.